Mom: Can you say “hi” to daddy?
Child: Hi, daddy!
Dad, gruffly: Can you please look at daddy when you say hi to me?
A Gentile Yuppie: I once dated a Rabbi’s daughter, in the Hamptons. I went to a family barbeque, and he asked me, ‘Do you want cheese on your hamburger?’ and I thought, ‘Ah–this is a moment of truth–one of those key moments in a relationship, where the family will judge me–what should I say?’ and I said, ‘Yes, I would’–and then the Rabbi responded, ‘Great! Then Cheese for Everybody!’”
– Bar Tabac, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn
20-something woman: You’re going to worship my mother when you meet her.
Man: I will?
Woman: Yes. Because I do.
Man: Is this where I can get a date? ‘Cuz I want mine Priority!
Woman at counter: Um….
Man: That’s okay. I’ll take door number two!
That top one is mine!! Wow, never knew it got posted. Awesome haha.